Yes, anger is an issue and it is normal to express anger. Control over emotions is something to be taught to every human. If we are able to address our emotions and able to channelize them towards righteous issues, world would be a better place.
However, my beliefs regarding “anger” emotion has recently changed. May be it is the effect of my marriage or my job or part of my growth as a person. But definitely I have more control over my anger. Things that used to trigger anger in me, now no more affect me. Even if they do, I’m able to sarcastically point the flaws in the situation so it adds a little humor to my anger. May be I have less struggles than before. Or my current struggles are by choice versus previous struggles that weren’t my choice.
I have come to realize that much of my anger rooted from wrong beliefs that I carried. I used to use my anger as my protection. World isn’t all that nice and we have anti-social elements, especially in the men’s world, you have to be safe than sorry when you are a girl. So when I travelled alone in public transports or when I went to school or college or work, I kept a strict and serious face, rather than a smiling one. No one should take my smile as a welcome note to hit on me or fool me. So a lot of anger was a gift of experiences, incidents, that made my trust-broken emotions into anger. Thus, was my belief – a totally FALSE belief. The truth is my anger arose from my ego. Ego that I cultivated over time because my expectations didn’t turn out to be real. My anger wasn’t my protection, my ego was protecting my anger.
So, is this the case with everyone? I examined some people around me who are short-tempered and easily irritated. Most of them were like me. They presumed the other person to be ill-mannered or ill-intentional, so they reacted with anger before the other could explain the reason of their behavior or their words. Assumptions are the medium through which your ego feeds your brain with thoughts to generate anger. Before we understand, we react. This can stop if you understand one truth: everyone around us has their share of experiences and their share of assumptions. You are not the only hero to have zero tolerance. Everyone has a story and they are hero of their own story. Those who carry a lot of patience, probably understand this wisdom.
Again, I’m not the perfect person to talk about anger management and people who know me will testify that; but felt to share that I am learning to do it and may be you could too!